When Aa's away....

So last week proved to be an interesting one - well only a few hours of the last week but man did they test my patience.

Aa was away on business (Shit, I don't feel old enough to have a husband, let alone one that goes away on business) last week from Monday to Thursday - D.C. I was left to ponder life as a bachelorette. To me this means the following:

*Bed made every morning (yay!)
*All pillows on the couch where they belong (yay!)
*CLEAN BATHROOM (YAAAAY!)
*Healthy meals
*The whole bed to myself (and Cooper of course)
*TV shows of my choosing!!!

As much as I miss Aa while he's away I'm always excited for the alone time (this excitement only lasts for a short time - read ahead).

After I drop Aa at the airport Monday I head home to take care of Cooper and settle in for a peaceful week. Cooper was a little out of sorts as per usual of night one of Aa's absence. We were off to a good start.

Cute to Tuesday (Day two)... I get home to find my overly eager dog going crazy in anticipation of going out to pee, eat dinner and disobey me. As I pick him up to lift him over the gate we use to keep him in the kitchen, he gives me a swift (albeit, accidental) swipe across the face (note to self - Cooper's nails need a trim). I wrestle his collar onto him, get him outside to pee and back inside for dinner - where the fun begins.

I'll preface by saying Cooper is a chewer... his specialty is pillow. We just got a new couch with huge cushions that look like - what else - pillows. As I'm fixing his dinner I hear the familiar sound of his name tag jingling... it could only mean one thing - he's ruining my couch!! Luckily the damage was nil - drool wipes off. I put his dinner down and begin to prepare my own - Velveeta w/veggies (healthy, remember??).

Cooper has eaten, my dinner is ready, the DVR is cued up, let the relaxing night begin. I settle myself on the couch sighing in light of said relaxation and begin to grab my once-a-day soda for a nice refreshing swig... I DROP THE ENTIRE GLASS OF SODA on me, the rug and the coffee table. I'm clumsy, I'll be the first to admit it, but even this was ridiculous for me.

I strip my wet clothes and run to the kitchen screaming for Cooper to not drink the mess. Let me tell you... thank GOD my husband had a moment of weakness in Bed Bath & Beyond and bought the Sham-Wow! Those things are amazing. I've got 4 Sham-Wows laid out and soaking up my mess with Cooper looking on (I'm half naked by the way) when I hear a trickle. I look up to see Cooper looking right at me peeing right there on the carpet next to the mess of soda. Another Sham-Wow to the rescue and more yelling at Cooper. When it rains it pours... Pun intended!

About an hour later as I'm *trying* to relax and my fury is decreasing I hear from Aa. I tell him all about my night much to his amusement. As he's telling me how awesome Georgetown would be if he wasn't there for work I see a giant spider on the ceiling with legs like a supermodel. I HATE spiders but I decide to leave it be assuming he would have his log legs carry him right out the door being he's right about it. Off to be I go... Totally unrelaxed.

Cut to the following morning. I wake up groggy (hello! It's 5am, who's not groggy???) and prepare to shower. I turn on the water and go thru my pre-shower routine. I derobe to get in and as I pull back the curtain, who's there? Supermodel spider - I think I even heard him say "Good morning Mrs. Gooley, I heard your husband is out of town." I scream one of those noiseless screams as I wonder if I would draw much attention if I grabbed the dog and ran outside buck-ass naked. I proceed to run around in horror waking up Cooper (remember that saying, "Let sleeping dogs lie"... couldn't be truer for Cooper). With all of the bravery I could muster I killed the supermodel spider(granted it was with almost a whole roll of paper towel).

I wasn't right for the rest of the day. My nerves were shot and my patience tried. I couldn't wait for Aa to come home. Screw the mock bachelorette-hood... I NEED my husband!!!!!!!!!!