Life has been boring... thank God for FIMD.

So while I'd love to keep this blog going at full speed, it's quite difficult. There are times in my life where things couldn't get any more hectic and strange and dramatic. And then there are times like the present... where my life seriously couldn't get any more boooooore-iiiiiing!

Boring is good though... it means things are going at a steady pace. But when you are trying to entertain people (read: family members who are forced to read) the pressure to come up with something... anything... is overwhelming.

So today, I figure I would tell you about Aa's most recent FIMD (Foot In Mouth Disease) episode.

FIMD, in case you are unaware, is an extremely maintainable condition that, at time, can have severe flare ups causing embarrassing moments and awkward silence. No one is safe from FIMD in any capacity.

We were at our friend B & J's house on Saturday night. It was an impromptu BBQ with beers and Ladder Ball (a quite addicting game that you MUST look into... and if anyone was curious, I TOTALLY carried out team). When Aa and B get together, many beers are consumed while me and J chat about what RETARDS our husbands are and how we ever got so lucky (insert some from-the-heart sarcasm).

As the night went on, more beers were consumed, B lost his shoes and eventually his awesome parents came by to get in on the action. We lit the fire pit and got ready to roast some marshmallows as the conversation (and have I mentioned, alcohol?) flowed. OUT OF NOWHERE, Aa's FIMD flares up.

Let me just preface the following conversation by mentioning that my husband has a skewed sense of humor... the kind not everyone finds funny. Luckily (or regretfully), B shares in his sense of humor. So keep that in mind as you read the following conversation.

Aa (to B's mom): So I hear Dan (her grandson... WHO'S 4!) is a real asshole.
B's mom: What? B! What?
Aa: Yeah, B said he's a real asshole.
B: Uhhhhh, no, I said the kid is hell on wheels (clearly trying to cover the fact that he did indeed tell Aa that his nephew/godson is an asshole).
Aa: LOLOLOLOL.. ::slurps beer::
B's mom: B, why would say that about your nephew. He's not an asshole.
Me: {I'm sooo death staring Aa down}
J: LOLOLOL!!!
B: Anyone want some S'mores?!?

My husband called a 4 year old and asshole... to the 4 year old's grandmother. Who knows what kind of chaos ensued the following day with B and his mom, but all I can say is that that was the WORST case of FIMD I have ever seen in my life! Luckily, B thought it was hilarious and him and J did confirm that the child is in fact an asshole (although I'm having a hard time with everyone calling a 4 year old an asshole) and everyone lived happily ever after (accept for Aa who's conscious finally kicked in on the ride home and couldn't get over what had spewed from his mouth and how guilty he felt).

In some cases, I will take boredom over FIMD ANY DAY!!!!

ABC... 123

Because nothing too exciting happened this weekend aside from just good times with good friends, I figured I'd entertain with a "survey". Instead of emailing it around for others to fill out and send back cloging my inbox, I thought I'd just post it here.

Here are the ABC's of me...

A-Age: 27
B-Birth date: 7/6/82 (belated birthday wishes are welcomed)
C-Chore you hate: Laundry
D-Dog's name: Cooper
E-Enter or Exit: Enter
F-Favorite color: Blue
H-Hair color: Blonde
I-Instrument: Air guitar
J-Job Title: Officially - Sales Assistant; Unofficially - Surfer of Internet
K-Kids: No kids, only furbabies.
L-Living arrangements: With the hubster
M-Monkey or Moose: I'll take a monkey
N-Nicknames: Just Kim... not much you can do with three letters.
O-Odd thing about you: Most of my cleaning binges happen when I'm trying to get into bed... they tend to spiral out of control.
P-Pet Peeve: It's "COULDN'T HAVE CARED LESS" not "COULD HAVE CARED LESS".
Q-Quote from a movie: "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!" (LOL... from What Happens in Vegas at the very end when the friend goes to the ex-bf's house and punches him in his manhood. LOL!!)
R-Right/Left Handed: Righty
S-Siblings: 2 younger sisters.
T-Time you wake up? A little after 5am (I have a 6am train to catch).
U-Underwear: Yes.
V-Veggie you dislike: Lima beans
W-What makes you run late: The snooze button.
X-X-Rays: Mouth and collar bone.
Y-Yummy food you make: Just made a delish chicken and shrimp scampi over the weekend. It was a crowd pleaser.
Z-Zoo Animal: Penguins.

There is just something about those red soles...

I'm in a fashion-y, pretend-I-can-actually-afford, shoe shopping/browsing (drooling over) kind of mood.

Isn't it just our luck that the things we covet most in the world (not actual needs, but meaningless wants) are those that in no way shape or form we could ever afford. It sucks. But it doesn't stop me from going to websites like Net-A-Porter.com or Saks.com and browsing their shoe pages and filling up my virtual shopping cart (of course I later close out of whatever page I'm on, thus losing every mortgage-payment priced item I added to said cart).

Every woman has something that makes her stop in her tracks. Makeup, jewlery, handbags, dresses, etc. For me... it's shoes. I own quite a few pairs (an understatement) and wear most of them as often as I can (even if it is just around the house when I'm wearing sweats). I don't recall when my love of shoes started, but all I know is that the right pair makes me feel amazing. The thing about shoes is that no matter how much weight you gain or lose, your shoes ALWAYS fit. It's comforting, especially for a gal like me who's weight is on a constant roller coaster ride (I'm currently climbing a quite steep hill).

Since being married, I've really tried to curb my shoe shopping ways. I've never really been one to spend a fortune on a single pair, but still, money is money and I'd be spending OUR money, not MY money. Guilt is the enemy!

So today, I thought I would share some of my unattainable desires. Consider this post if you will, as shoe porn....


Christian Louboutin Very Prive peep-toes. These will set you back about $745.


Versace Mesh Rose T-Strap. A measley $895.


OMG! Look at that heel! Jimmy Choo Eliza Suede Sandal $665. I think there are other versions of this shoe floating around because I remember seeing something very similar on Caroline from Real Housewives of NJ Reunion Show and being in awe.


LOVE LOVE. Jimmy Choo Suede Platform Sandal $1,195 on sale for $417.95


These are the kind of shoe I would wear with a simple black dress. Oscar de la Renta $625 on sale for $218.45


Christian Louboutin Decocolico Mary Jane Pump $855


Christian Louboutin Very Galaxy Platform Pump $1,295. And it all ends with those red soles... a girl can die happy.


... Now if you'll excuse me, I must sucumb to my shoe coma.

Wannabe photog...

At the end of May, our good friends daughter was Christened. Aa was honored to be asked to be her godfather. I was excited at the opportunity to get some really great shots throughout the day. Here are just a few of my favorites... the more photojournalistic angel of the day.


This is the cross that Aa bought his goddaughter.


Happy baby... proud papa.


What is it about a sleeping baby.... ::swoooon::


Someone is wrapped right around this child's finger. Looks like Aa... it's love.


Baby toes... the perfect snack.

When Aa's away....

So last week proved to be an interesting one - well only a few hours of the last week but man did they test my patience.

Aa was away on business (Shit, I don't feel old enough to have a husband, let alone one that goes away on business) last week from Monday to Thursday - D.C. I was left to ponder life as a bachelorette. To me this means the following:

*Bed made every morning (yay!)
*All pillows on the couch where they belong (yay!)
*CLEAN BATHROOM (YAAAAY!)
*Healthy meals
*The whole bed to myself (and Cooper of course)
*TV shows of my choosing!!!

As much as I miss Aa while he's away I'm always excited for the alone time (this excitement only lasts for a short time - read ahead).

After I drop Aa at the airport Monday I head home to take care of Cooper and settle in for a peaceful week. Cooper was a little out of sorts as per usual of night one of Aa's absence. We were off to a good start.

Cute to Tuesday (Day two)... I get home to find my overly eager dog going crazy in anticipation of going out to pee, eat dinner and disobey me. As I pick him up to lift him over the gate we use to keep him in the kitchen, he gives me a swift (albeit, accidental) swipe across the face (note to self - Cooper's nails need a trim). I wrestle his collar onto him, get him outside to pee and back inside for dinner - where the fun begins.

I'll preface by saying Cooper is a chewer... his specialty is pillow. We just got a new couch with huge cushions that look like - what else - pillows. As I'm fixing his dinner I hear the familiar sound of his name tag jingling... it could only mean one thing - he's ruining my couch!! Luckily the damage was nil - drool wipes off. I put his dinner down and begin to prepare my own - Velveeta w/veggies (healthy, remember??).

Cooper has eaten, my dinner is ready, the DVR is cued up, let the relaxing night begin. I settle myself on the couch sighing in light of said relaxation and begin to grab my once-a-day soda for a nice refreshing swig... I DROP THE ENTIRE GLASS OF SODA on me, the rug and the coffee table. I'm clumsy, I'll be the first to admit it, but even this was ridiculous for me.

I strip my wet clothes and run to the kitchen screaming for Cooper to not drink the mess. Let me tell you... thank GOD my husband had a moment of weakness in Bed Bath & Beyond and bought the Sham-Wow! Those things are amazing. I've got 4 Sham-Wows laid out and soaking up my mess with Cooper looking on (I'm half naked by the way) when I hear a trickle. I look up to see Cooper looking right at me peeing right there on the carpet next to the mess of soda. Another Sham-Wow to the rescue and more yelling at Cooper. When it rains it pours... Pun intended!

About an hour later as I'm *trying* to relax and my fury is decreasing I hear from Aa. I tell him all about my night much to his amusement. As he's telling me how awesome Georgetown would be if he wasn't there for work I see a giant spider on the ceiling with legs like a supermodel. I HATE spiders but I decide to leave it be assuming he would have his log legs carry him right out the door being he's right about it. Off to be I go... Totally unrelaxed.

Cut to the following morning. I wake up groggy (hello! It's 5am, who's not groggy???) and prepare to shower. I turn on the water and go thru my pre-shower routine. I derobe to get in and as I pull back the curtain, who's there? Supermodel spider - I think I even heard him say "Good morning Mrs. Gooley, I heard your husband is out of town." I scream one of those noiseless screams as I wonder if I would draw much attention if I grabbed the dog and ran outside buck-ass naked. I proceed to run around in horror waking up Cooper (remember that saying, "Let sleeping dogs lie"... couldn't be truer for Cooper). With all of the bravery I could muster I killed the supermodel spider(granted it was with almost a whole roll of paper towel).

I wasn't right for the rest of the day. My nerves were shot and my patience tried. I couldn't wait for Aa to come home. Screw the mock bachelorette-hood... I NEED my husband!!!!!!!!!!